This is a dream I had about my former best friend (L) last week. You know those dreams, where you are drifting between conscious and unconsciousness. After having it, I woke up and had to write it down...it was so revealing and I don't want to forget.

DREAM (the night of my birthday, btw):

We go together to ‘El Valle’ I think, or maybe a beautiful park. We are at the swings. She looks breathtaking and I spill my soul. I tell her everything.
-The things I know were shitty between us
-The things I know I did wrong
-The things I felt/feel, even some I never realised were there until my mouth spoke them.

She looks sympathetic. We go back to visit memories of the past, the fun ones. I ask for forgiveness, understanding. I see her, and I know she does, understand. Although, she wonders if we even have things in common still (not like we had that many before). She wonders if we still care, truly care, about each other. And I realise, as she speaks with her soft voice, I was a little bit in love with her but very much scared of it. And maybe that has something to do with why I left so suddenly, so selfishly without saying goodbye. I know there was love. I just never understood the type of love I felt.

I’ll never forget your smile, or the way you always knew better. I loved that with you I never felt the need to stand out and be the centre of attention, you took care of that place with grace. You were always more beautiful and interesting, so adventurous, spontaneous and crazy.

And as we swing and we look into our eyes, I cry. My voice barely makes its way out of my mouth, and I’m completely unable to mask the sorrow and sadness that I feel. My lips tremble and my voice breaks. And your answer is not what I want to hear. ‘I think we have changed. I don’t know if you fit into my life anymore.’ It enters my ears, not fully processed, and it feels like you dropped a heavy object to a hollow place. I know I’ve been delusional to think we would have some of our life back, but it makes me happy to hear in your voice that you still care (for a second I hope this is real and not all in my head).

With a sad smile on your lips and our bodies entangled in innocent embrace, I wake from your sweet comfort.
Back to reality, I tell myself, the one where I never had the nerve to tell you these things. A reality where I was never brave enough to bare my heart so vulnerable.
I’m not sure it was love, the one everyone fusses about, but you sure as hell broke my heart.
I know it was me who left; The one that never looked back.
I’m sorry L, I truly am.
And I hate that you’ll never know this.

i would lie if i said there is soemthing that moves me more than music does. music takes you places you've never been; some that you wish to discover on your own and some you never want to cross paths with, but all opens you in different places and helps you through your life.
this list has no particular order. they are all favourites and have settled in a specific place of my heart. hope you like em to!

1. IT'S BLITZ! by the yeah yeah yeahs...
-check out KAREN O AND THE KIDS- where the wild things are soundtrack AFUCKINGMAZING

2. MANNERS by passion pit... oh the craziness and originality makes me what to dance!

3. MIIKE SNOW by miike snow... this is just pure magic and ill be seeing him live..cry!

4. THE XX by the xx... there is something about this band that breaks my heart to pieces. i love how both vocals mix in a serene and erotic manner. ace from start to finish.

5. FEVER RAY by fever ray..gotta love the randomness and god i love it!

6. FAR by regina spektor..

7. THE RESISTANCE by muse

8. MUSIC FOR MEN by gossip

9. LUNGS by florence + the machine...

10. WOLFGANG AMADEUS PHOENIX by phoenix...

11. PRIMARY COLOURS by the horrors... shit i just downloaded it so im not equipped to praise it like it should.

12. MERRIWEATHER POST PAVILION by animal collective...

honourable mentions...
HUMBUG by arctic monkeys
KISS OF LIFE by friendly fires
SAINTHOOD?>


which would you add?

So...i used to blog about the music i think people should check out and i have not done this in such a long time i might just not remember how to, but here it goes.
This summer has been a good time for music in general CHECK THIS BANDS OUT:

1. ANIMAL COLLECTIVE (Merriweather Post Pavilion)--this is probly one of my fave records of the year. it is not to download just a couple tracks. get them all!!! its CRAZY stuff.
link>>Summertime Clothes

2. LYKKE LI (Youth Novels)--my sister sent me this last week thinking I'd like it, and guess what? i did. you should too! it is sweden imported bliss!
link>> Little BIt

3. THE JEALOUS GIRLFRIENDS (self title) --a Brooklyn based band. the lead singer has such a powerful voice. i love it. but what i love most is when both singers voices collide and the drums are pretty good too.
link>> How Now, Organs on the Kitchen Floor

4. HOLLY MIRANDA (Sleep on Fire ep)-- if you liked the band above this is the lead singer going solo. it is really powerful, soulful music. she has been described as one of the best singers of NY (by the NYtimes) and is pretty much great. plays guitars and piano plus...did i mention her voice? anyway, you can buy her ep on www.hollymiranda.com (check the vid its truly fantastic).. her album is out next year...cant wait (it's going to be produced by David Andrew of TV on the radio, who also produced Fever to tell and This is Blitz! by the YYYs.
link>> WAVES (guitar), Everytime i go to sleep (piano skillz) plus vocals.

5. MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS (The Crown Jewels ep)-- finally some UK music. she's been getting more press but is not really commercial music. it kinda reminds me of a less funky regina spektor but not really. ill let her speak for herself.
link>> I AM NOT A ROBOT

6. WILCO (the Wilco Album)-- no need to plug this band too much cause it's fairly well known but this last album of them i really like and wanted to give a shout out. get it!
link>> You and I

7. FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE (Lungs)--another London based group. this is epic music. a mix of the white stripes and kate bush. i like that is strong and loud music keeping its sort of classical elements.
link>> Drumming Song

A couple more you should get but clearly more known:
-Humbug by Arctic monkeys (too slow for me but it's still good)

-Far by Regina spektor (best one yet, which is saying something)

-Colour The Small One by Sia (i know im late to the party but i recently started playing her and love it, even the really melancholic and sad ones)

ps> hope you actually get some of this music and enjoy them as much as i have :D

So this is a guy from Israel that searched for good musicians in youtube and made his music through theirs. its called THRU YOU and is not actually posted by its maker KUTIMAN but someone else.
www.youtube.com/watch

ps. this is one of the 7 tracks he made. check them all. they are extraordinary.

10. Kaiser Chiefs [off with their heads]
as always KC delivered a catchy fun album with a good set of clever songs.
best songs: never miss a beat,

9. Radiohead [in rainbow]
magical, as always. they have been the first band to leave the price of their album to what the audience decides to pay and to make a video were no camera was used. they applied "3D plotting technologies [that] collected information about the shapes and relative distances of objects".
link-->www.youtube.com/watch
best songs: House Of Cards, and Bodysnatchers

8. Ra Ra Riot [the rhumb line]
a new band with a different sound and a nice combination of instruments. im really enjoying this one at the moment.
best songs: too too fast, dying is fine

7. Alkaline Trio [agony and irony]
haven’t heard it in a while but it made enough of an impression that after all this time it still makes my list. has a variety of beats and sounds and i mostly enjoy the guitar and vocals.
best songs: calling all skeletons, in vein

6. Vampire Weekend [vampire weekend]
a new band by a couple of graduate students mocking themselves but making really good music at it. the songs incorporate a lot of unexpected sounds and fun vocals; shows a lot of personality. pausation becomes an essential part of the beat that makes their sound so appealing. i really am digging it!
best songs: oxford comma, Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa

5. Panic at the Disco (yes, without the exclamation mark!) [pretty odd]
panic came minus an exclamation mark and with a best and more powerful sound. they kinda remind me of the beatles, i know...huge remark but its true. they change from the overexposed rock/alt music like fall out boy to a more mature and experimental band. this is one of those albums you like more each time around.
best tracks: She's A Handsome Woman, Mad as Rabbits, Pas de Cheval

4. Death Cab for Cutie [narrow stairs]
OMG do i love this band. every album they get more and more interesting and this album is one of my favorites. They can make catchy yet moving and soulful songs that stick with you. After seeing them live there is no doubt in my mind they are one of a kind. they can even make a slightly stalkerish song into a romantic loving one in I Will Posses your Heart.
best tracks: Bixby Canyon Bridge, Cath..., Long Division, The Ice is getting Thinner

3. Kaki King [dreaming of revenge]
Unlike her previews albums, solo guitar, this album incorporates a combination of instruments and vocals. She plays every instrument in the record except for the violins, and that includes three types of guitars, drums, trumpets and maracas plus she sings.
Is it FAIR?! I mean, have you seen this woman play? she is probably the most gifted guitarist and an outstanding drummer...and a good singer. GOD would I trade my soul for half her talent!
fave tracks: Bone Chaos In The Castle, Air and Kilometers, Can Anyone Who Has Heard This Music Really Be a Bad Person?
and MY FAVORITE SONG>2 o' clock.
a beautiful, heartbreaking melody...you can hear in her voice the sadness and regret. she takes the song from a slow and tranquil state to an over dramatic climax that seams like an epiphany or revelation. no better way to end this OUTSTANDING album that with this song's set of drums.

2. Coldplay [viva la vida or death and all his friends]
My favorite coldplay album for sure. it is great from beginning to end. I simply adore it. It was a much more ambitious album for the band and they definitely exceeded my expectations.
fave tracks: death and all his friends, violet hill, cemeteries of london

1. Kings of Leon [only by the night]
Caleb Followill's voice is one the sexiest voices ive heard. the lyrics are great, the melodies are better. this album is a knock out from beginning to end. My favorite album of the year by far.
fave tracks: crawl, sex on fire, be somebody, closer

** I was planning on writing a detailed review of every album but had no idea it took so long and i am THE LAZIEST PERSON EVER sooooo. here is my result

Further recommendations: Glasvegas [glasvegas] and The Gaslight Anthem [The '59 Sound]
hope i contributed with your itunes collection (:

okay so im one of those people that LOVED TWILIGHT before it became what everyone talks about.
there is this one particular incident-- i was reading the book in class (yeah back there when high school was part of my life...not anymore THANK GOODNESS) and this girl J was like 'omg you are reading...something that is not even for school...what the hell is your problem? and look at the size of that thing...' whatever i just ignored her like always but the funny thing is now i saw that she is like obsessed with the book/movie all the thing and i feel like...gosh what a hypocrit.

its not like i HATE twilight now but it seams less important or dear when everyone, including people that i dislike a lot, are obsessed with...

so it is awkward that something i really liked a couple of years back is something that annoys me so much now. it may have something to do (also) with the fact that the final book was emmmmm BAD (to put it lightly)

I just watched the movie and i have to say it was beautiful. Oh so inspiring!
Things i liked:
-Sean Penn. omg! what an outstanding performance. He was so believable and touching.
-The structure of the film. i love the way they incorporate real news from the time, commentaries. I liked the way it began and how the story telling connected to the narration.
-Allison Pill was great (more would have been great, although i get)

Things i didn't like much (not really about the movie):
-the fact that we still have to fight such horrible discrimination. I mean prop 6...such a flashback to now with prop 8.

Overall it was PERFECT. loved it. IM IN SHOCK it didn't get a golden globe nom. At least Penn did. sigh

I love many things in life. But there is nothing more fulfilling than enjoying live music. This last month I had the lucky chance to attend two concerts i never thought i would. Everyone that knows me know that music is more than just a part of my life, more than my inspiration or light, it's basically what makes me me.

I've been to many concerts back in Panamá but sadly most were garbage. I mean okay, I did enjoy Sean Paul (is that name correct?). Wait that's a lie. But hey apart from a fantastic concert by Gustavo Cerati and Soda Stereo I truly had no experience. I will never forget how Ana got our tickets for de Soda concert, i mean i think I've never been more excited, EVER. That day is definitely in my top 10. It was a huge arena and there were people that came from all over America (continent) to see Soda Stereo give their first concert after ten years of hapless retirement. The crowd was high (literally and figuratively) and singing along to most tunes, especially música ligera, God that song made the crowd go insane! The band had a beautiful ensemble of images and videos playing to the rhythm of the music and also a set of fireworks. But what i distinctly remember is Bosio (bass) and Cerati (guitar/singer) join heads in the middle of the stage and improvise a massive solo. That shit was more than art. The other great concert I went was to Cerati, solo. That one was smaller and less crazy. But it was more intimate and i loved hearing Cerati talk to the crowd in his thick Argentinian accent and rearranging his lyrics to thank Panamá. I loved his drummer, he was insane.

Coming to London was a rushed decision. What is the best part of my life in this country? The music, easily. I came to write this note just hours after seeing Death Cab for Cutie live. Oh my god. I am still overwhelmed. They started the night playing the first single in their new album, "Bixby Canyon Bridge," a tribute to a Big Sur landmark. They moved on to slower and more classical songs of theirs. Gibbard sang "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" acoustically and it was honest and truly beautiful. They covered all of their albums leaning more to, in my opinion, their best album, Transatlanticism. Other songs that stood out were: "I Will Posses Your Heart" (played entirely), "A Lack Of Color", "Your Heart Is An Empty Room" (i relate to it deeply) and most of all is Walla's piano and Gibbard singing "But I’m thinking of what Sarah said/That love is watching someone die/So who’s gonna watch you die?". At the end of "What Sarah said" i was on the verge of tears (how reluctantly i accept this). I know I will remember this for good.

Last month I went to a small venue to hear a guitar genius. Kaki King is claimed by the Rolling Stone Magazine as "a guitar god", only three have ever made the cut, and she is the only female. I went with very high expectations and left speechless. There is something about her music (mostly instrumental) that speaks to me. I just remember tuning out of the world and being completely empty of thoughts and filled with a rush of emotions. People are different here in Britain, not in a bad or good way, just different. Nobody spoke, i think that most of us were even holding our breath in order not to miss even one of her wondrous notes. Her unorthodox and playful technique was something that caught the musical world by surprise. She mixed most of her songs and even switched instruments, having previously recorded live, what she would use as the background music. Songs that made the greatest impression: "Air and Kilometers", "Neanderthal", "Yellowcake" and the absolutely astounding "Gay Sons of Lesbian Mothers" in steel guitar. But when she played "Magazine" i knew that had been, without a doubt, the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced.

What is in store for my musical future? I have at least two more years to go (in London, not planing on jumping off a bridge in two years. promise!) and I expect many more amazing live performances in my path. Kings of Leon (crawl, sex on fire!) will play in April and ACDC in may (i think). So well... It's late and I should go to bed. But not before i leave you with the words of a wiser man: "Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent" by Victor Hugo.


ps> i forgot my camera to tonight's concert ): but if you want to see some of the video i took on the kaki king concert here's a link--> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlYasN5YTfQ&eurl=http://www.youtube.com/my_videos_edit2?ns=1&video_id=mlYasN5YTfQ&next=%2Fmy_videos2%3Fpi%3D0%26ps%3D20iurl=http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/mlYasN5YTfQ/hqdefault.jpg
(i think i have about 8 of them. sadly my battery died and i did not record my favorite songs ): )

pss> life without music would be a mistake! (rightfully said by philosopher F. Nietzsche)